


Legendary - Parkside Storytime

by PKofLight



Series: Linked Universe - Legendary Works [7]
Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), That Thing He Mentioned in Part 5 Returns Too, The Return of Storytelling Legend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 14:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PKofLight/pseuds/PKofLight
Summary: This sudden movement surprised both of them, as the Hero of the Four Sword gave a yelp. “But… But the market!”“Shush! I have an idea in mind for what we can do!” The Hero of Legend gave out a laugh as he started to shove them in front of him. “I think you’ll both like it.”“You’re taking us to a park!” argued the Hero of the Wind. “We’re not five!”“I’m taking you to the park to sit you two down for another story,” he explained as he led the way to a lone park bench. “There’s one I know you two would oh so love to hear…”





	Legendary - Parkside Storytime

They’d made it to some nondescript town and had paid for an inn for the night. The Hero of Legend wasn’t sure what to make of the town, especially when none of them had recognized the place, but it seemed to be nice and was accommodating. The innkeeper has taken one look at the group and had decided that they were a family of sons with their dad out on some strange outing, and had offered three rooms.

As it turned out, there was a tavern in town that apparently had good ale. The Hero of Time had decided then, that perhaps a small break was in order, and so the Hero of Warriors had turned to the others and had declared the need to stop at the tavern for the night. And, of course, from the outside, a bright sign had been painted declaring that no minors were allowed. After a quick check for what counted as a minor in the town, it was discovered that only two of the Links didn’t qualify: the Heroes of the Four Sword and the Wind. 

While the Smithy gave a shrug and moved to check out the market, the Pirate had all but thrown a fit, declaring that he’d had rum, ale, and the whole nine yards before while sailing with Tetra and her crew. It left the others not sure what to do, as they hated the concept of just leaving the Pirate in such a state, and abandoning the Smithy to take care of him. At the sound of yelling and whining, the Hero of the Four Sword had turned and frowned.

“Now, now,” he said as he approached the Hero of the Wind. “I think that’s enough of that.”

“It’s not fair!” the Hero of the Wind declared. “I’ve had most of these drinks before!”

“Oh, I’m very sure of it after that fit you just had,” the Hero of the Four Sword countered. “But, here in this town, you’re not old enough to drink, and it’s against the law. You can get the tavern in trouble if you disregard it and lie about your age to get one.” He crossed his arms at the pale face of the Hero of the Wind. “I don’t think a drink is worth that, do you?”

“But I like rum, Master Smithy. It’s always good with juice,” the Hero of the Wind stated, causing the others to stare at him in disbelief. The Pirate, meanwhile, put his hands in front of him and began to try to mime making a drink. “Tetra makes this drink with a little bit of rum in a glass of orange juice and a hint of another kind of juice, I think some kind of berry? It always turns out so tasty.”

The Hero of the Four Sword stared at the youngest in front of him. “... How old are you again?”

“Almost fourteen, why?”

The Hero of Legend clapped a hand to the Pirate’s shoulder. “Because you’re like… an infant. A baby, even. People don’t usually start drinking alcohol until they’re like… my age, maybe, and some still consider that too young.” He turned his attention to the others, a strange expression on his face that only the Hero of Time seemed to understand at first. 

“I’m not an infant!” came a sudden cry from the Hero of the Wind, clearly having taken more offense to the infant comment as opposed to the baby one. 

“You kinda are,” sassed the Hero of the Four Sword, earning himself a glare from the Pirate in return.

In response to the fact that the Hero of the Wind was  _ totally  _ plotting to jump the Smithy right there and then, the Hero of Legend pushed the two away from each other and stepped between them. Acting now as a meat shield for the Smithy, he turned to the others with a small smile. “Uh, you guys go have fun, I’ll stay with these two and make sure one doesn’t kill the other.” 

That was what led to the Hero of Legend waving them goodbye, as the others turned to go get drunk. Flanking him on both sides were the Heroes of the Four Sword and the Wind, with the Smithy bearing a smile, but the Pirate definitely clearly frustrated and angry. With a sigh, the Hero of Legend turned to his two new charges, wondering what to do in order to keep at least one of them occupied and distracted by current events. That was when an idea came to him, almost evilly, as he gave both of the Heroes before him a rather snide grin. Slapping them both on the back, he moved to redirect them toward a park area near the middle of the town. 

This sudden movement surprised both of them, as the Hero of the Four Sword gave a yelp. “But… But the market!”

“Shush! I have an idea in mind for what we can do!” The Hero of Legend gave out a laugh as he started to shove them in front of him. “I think you’ll both like it.” 

“You’re taking us to a park!” argued the Hero of the Wind. “We’re not five!”

“I’m taking you to the park to sit you two down for another story,” he explained as he led the way to a lone park bench. “There’s one I know you two would oh so love to hear…”

The two boys quieted down immediately as the Hero of Legend allowed that to settle and stew in their heads. The looks of astonished glee and even expectant joy was well worth the vague comment and the wait, as he let out a laugh and settled down on the bench, the two other Heroes moving quickly to flank him. The Hero of the Wind, in particular, leaned in close to hear the tale. 

“You’re finally going to tell us the one about the pants, aren’t you?” asked the Hero of the Four Sword. “About time. You’ve been putting that off for a while.”

“All that build up and you never brought it up again!” the Hero of the Wind added, a bright smile on his face. “Well? Why don’t you wear pants, Vet?”

The Hero of Legend gave both boys a mischievous grin as he leaned back into the bench with his arms crossed. “Well, first off, you can all blame my good ol’ uncle. I was maybe… Goddesses, I was probably younger than you, maybe around Aryll’s age.” He gained a surprised look from the Hero of the Wind, while the Hero of the Four Sword gave him a confused expression. “Anyways, I was around that age, and my uncle was doing the laundry.”

Immediately, the Hero of the Four Sword frowned. “... I think I know where this is going, and that is a petty reason to stop wearing pants.”

“Fine then, don’t hear about it, go sit in the corner and I’ll tell just the Pirate the full story,” the Hero of Legend said with a snide smile. He waited for the Smithy to move, but when he didn’t, the Vet scoffed and continued. “Anyways, he was doing laundry. I had been in the house most of the day and had finally stepped out to have some sun and get some fresh air. My uncle calls me over while he’s adding to stuff to the line.”

Now both boys were staring up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Let me guess…” began the Hero of the Wind, slowly, “... you walked into a pair of pants…?”

At just the memory, the Hero of Legend gave a full, honest laugh. It was different than other laughs they’d heard him make, which were typically fake, or mocking. This one was clear, soft, and true. “Right into them, I walked right into them! It was one of his pairs, so it was huge, nearly the size of me at the time, and I freaked.” 

“Wait, how big were these pants?” the Hero of the Wind asked, clearly trying to imagine the situation while also trying not to laugh. “If you were the same age as Aryll… Yikes.” 

“Granted, I think I was smaller than her, I was a scrawny kid,” the Hero of Legend said as he smirked at the Pirate. “These pants were  _ evil _ either way, and I had no chance. The pants defeated me and I ended up falling over.” He leaned in, giving both of them a look. “And you guys have been to my place a few times, we live on a hill. So, I ended up tumbling my way right down it, and nearly onto the road.” 

Both boys gave a gasp. 

“What happened after that? Were you okay?! Did you die?!” asked the Hero of the Wind as if the very suspense would end him.

The Heroes of Legend and the Four Sword gave him confused and disappointed expressions. It took the Pirate a moment until he realized what he had just asked, and he blushed, turning his face down the dirt in front of them. In response, the Hero of Legend ruffled up his hair, and decided to ignore the last question all together.

“I was perfectly fine. Spooked, but fine. My uncle rushed out and saved me before I could tumble into any real trouble,” he continued, a smug smile on his face. “It was in that moment that I declared to him that I didn’t like pants! And thus, from that moment on, I didn’t wear them at all. He had a hell of a time getting me in them after that so I could be a presentable nephew. But I held out, and here we are.” 

The expressions on both boys faces was totally worth it. True, the event had really happened, but it seemed that they didn’t entirely believe him, and that he was making it up.

The Hero of the Four Sword’s eyes flashed a vibrant purple for a split second, and he crossed his arms defensively and straightened. “... That didn’t happen. No way. That can’t be why you don’t wear pants!”

“It totally is,” the Hero of Legend said with a grin. “Just ask my uncle, he’ll let you know.”

“We haven’t even met this uncle!” the Hero of the Wind countered. “Ravio took over his room!”

“He did not, he took over an  _ empty  _ bedroom that  _ happened _ to once  _ be  _ my uncle’s room,” replied the Hero of Legend. “I’ll have you know, my uncle suffered a really weird midlife crisis, and he’s off farming honey or something last I saw him.” He shrugged. “But just ask him next time we’re in my Hyrule and you see him. He’ll say it like it is. I was attacked by one of his pants as a child.” 

“That can’t be why you don’t wear pants, though,” the Hero of the Wind said with a frown on his face. “I was attacked by seagulls once, and I still like them! And the ocean, even!”

“Pants didn’t throw you off a cliff,” countered the Hero of Legend.

“It was a hill you fell down, and it’s not even a  _ big  _ hill! Aryll could fall down that and think it was  _ fun _ ! You just took it too far!”

“Pfff, when have I ever taken anything too far?” 

The awkward silence was deafening.

“Alright, fair point, but this is the exact moment that I deemed the cause of my hatred toward pants,” replied the Veteran as he leaned back into the bench, putting his arms behind his head as he relaxed. “You guys wanted the story, so you guys got the story.” 

“The others aren’t going to believe it!” the Hero of the Wind cried out in annoyance. “So we can’t even tell them or hold it over their heads for bait!”

The Hero of the Four Sword gave a nod. “Exactly! We can’t even do anything with this information, so what do you gain from it…?”

The snicker from the Hero of Legend caused both boys to pale. “Maybe that’s why I told you. Cause no one will believe you if you did tell others.” He took great pride in their astonished expressions. “I’ve lived a very weird life, boys. There’s a  _ lot _ I can tell you that just seems so  _ out there _ that I can hold over your heads and get so much pleasure out of you realizing you can’t tell the others without them thinking you’re crazy.” 

His laughter at their anguished cries in unison of “Nooooo!!” could be heard from the tavern.


End file.
